1. porridge likes stirring. It is s like an experienced lover. It loves long foreplay involving kinky accessories like pinafore and wooden spoons.
2. porridge hates boiling.
You will be late for work if you let oats boiling while washing hair. Burned porridge is no fun to get out of the Creuset.
3. best salty recipe is: oats + water + pinch of salt + big spoon of olive oil+crushed chilli
4. best sweet recipe: oats+ coconut milk + cocoa powder + chocolate nibs + muscovado sugar
5. best everyday recipe: oats + water + frozen blueberries
( and you get fabulously blue lips as a reword)
6. worst recipe: oats + mushrooms. Even vegan zealots can't stand that level of mushiness.
7. the word "porridge" evolved from pottage (“thick soup or stew”), influenced by porray (“stew of leeks”)
the mush must came a long way since then, cause who would like to ingest oats with leeks ?
8. most famous song about porridge must be Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry" ( if you listen closely, Bob will promise to share corn porridge with you - not offering himself to cook it or to clean the kitchen afterwards, though...)
9. to impress friends with your porridge skills:
-DO put it on your Instagram account ( add strawberries and avocado for extra likes)
-DO NOT put it on the dinner table. Offer them chips and make them listen for an hour and half how much smarter, more prosperous and healthier you are since you eat chia seeds and oatmeal every day.